Coming soon to Lakewood: Clifton Closets


This week there has been a major breakthrough regarding the housing crisis in Lakewood, NJ. A few days ago, an excess of space was reported in the alleyway between French cleaners and Gelbstein’s bakery. Each car was able to exit the alleyway in only seven maneuvers, with very minimal beeping and screaming, a clear sign of extra space.

Almost immediately, a blueprint was drawn up of a new development called Clifton Closets to be built on this newfound plot of land. It will be a little on the smaller side but you could not ask for a more central location. Due to the homier dimensions, the contractor is looking for potential dwellers of similar measurements or people who don’t need to stretch or move around that much.

If all goes well, we will be able to commence phase 2: houses with basements. These structures, built with a lower level/shelf, will be called Cozy at Clifton, and because the contractor couldn’t resist he even named the basements with the adorable, apropos name-Clifton Cabinets.

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